So I'm still here in L.A. and I find myself wanting to go back "home" to Davis. I really miss my comfortable life and I miss school. There has been so much change since I got back from India, but God has been shaping me and showing me that I can't do all this on my own.
Spiritual warfare is going on 24/7. When the devil sees that a person is starting to seek God more and more diligently, He attacks even harder because He wants us to lose faith. Coming back from my missions trip allowed me to grow so much with God and I know that my sister and mother have grown in their relationships as well. However, when the devils sees the areas where we are weak he makes an attempt to bring us down. I feel that these past few weeks have been the most challenging spirtually, emotionally, and physically. Disease, violence, evil words, and death have made an attempt to dishearten my family. However, I know that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms," (Eph 6:12). Through out all these trials I have chosen to praise God and continue to turn to Him. Yes, i did say that the devil attacks our weak points; however, God 's strength also becomes perfect in our weakness (2 Cor 12:9). I know that God's strength is sufficient for me and the devil has not authority to affect my life. I chose to seek God's because his peace sustains me, it allows me to be able to withstand difficult times. I don't know everything there is to know about God. No one can because His knowledge far surpasses our own, He is God and I will not limit Him to my circumstances because He is so much bigger than that.
Like i said, there are times when i just want to go back to Davis, but I feel that God allowed me to come back home and be with my family because He wants to show me that I can't run away from my problems. Usually I feel good when I am back in Davis because I don't have to deal with my real life back home. Sometimes I just want to forget because I don't want to be in pain, but God is also teaching me that we need to help bear each other's burdens. I need to face problems not run away from them. I need to overcome sickness and deal with, I need to dig deep into emotions that have become numb. I need to feel and realize my situation, I need to realize the intensity of it and overcome it. I'm not saying that i need to dwell on it because then that will only make things worse and it will make me worse off. I am also realizing that if I don't address a situation and if i continue to pretend like its not there, then I can never cure it. In order to cure a disease you need to know the cause of it you need to know what it is.....well, the truth hurts but I have to dig deep and the deepest wounds hurt the most.
I pray each night that God's peace sustains me and that His love will continue to pour out on me. I thank God that I am alive and breathing and that He provides me with all that i need. God is so good and He is always teaching me something new each day. I know that His word is truth and Jesus is the way the truth and the life. I thank God for all that I have and I pray that He will continue to work in my life and the lives of those around me. Having a relationship with God is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me, i'm so thankful for His grace =).
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