God said to look at the flowers of the fields and the birds in the sky that they neither sow nor reap, yet God provides for them. I see how pretty the flowers and trees are and it show me God's power and glory. This makes me happy because I know that God loves me, His child, just as much if not more than the birds and flower. Slowly I feel that I am able to accept myself the way God made me. I love knowing that He loves me and that He doesn't look at the outward appearance, but at the heart. God's love is what sustains me through all things and His love is sufficient for me. Well, it's easier for me to say it (or type it lol) and believe it, but sometimes I wonder if something affected my physical appearance how would I react? ...i don't know i guess i'mjust thinking about all this right now because I found out that I'm going to have chemotherapy again. I don't know how much chemo I will be getting, but I may or may not lose my hair....My response to my doctor when he said that I would have to have chemo again was kind of funny because the first thing i said was " Will I lose my hair??!!" Afterwards I realized that was kind of shallow of me, it's just hair it will grow back if i have to lose my hair.
Lately God has been telling me that I am beautiful. Well, actually God has always been telling me that, but it's just recently that I have noticed. We all have insecurities at some point in our lives. What I realized is that I just need to be content with myself. It's the whole concept of the "grass greener than the other side." A lot of times girls compare themselves to other girls and are unsatisfied with themselves, but if they had the same physical appearance of THAT other girl and kept the same mentality of comparing themselves, then the cycle would continue. They would continue to compare and compare and change and change things about they're physcial appearance. For example, when I went to India the girls there wanted lighter skin and there were ads for creams to lighten up the skin. However people here in the U.S.A go to tanning booths and use creams to get darker skin (this really surprised the indians).
ok i feel a little distracted rite now lol. anyways, GOd has really been helping me to deal with these kind of issues. Everyday that I seek Him, only His opinion seems to matter. He knows that I am beautiful and it makes me so very grateful and glad. He gives me the confidence that I need, but not to be boastful.
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