Busy Busy Busy

Well, the title pretty much says it all...and its only the first full week of school. That's ok I like to be busy, as long as I get my sleep. I find rest in my Lord Jesus.

oh so i just remembered one thing that I wanted to write about, my recent doctor's appointment. I thought it was pretty much a waste of time, as usual, I should of just called to ask and speak with my doctor rather than going all the way to sac by shuttle, oh well.

sooo pretty much what happened was that my doctor told me that he wouldn't recommend me to have surgery before radiation so he thinks I should wait until 1 month after I'm done with radiation (around December) to operate . However, there are pros and cons, of course, and one of the cons was that the surgery might affect my studies since I would have to miss 2 weeks of school. He also discussed with me other negative results that the surgery might cause, such as the severe nerve damage and the loss of feeling in my leg, meaning I would not be able to walk normally or at all....i pretty much already know all these pros and cons. My doctor seemed very hesitant and unsure. He even told me that he doesn't know what to advise me in this situation. Hearing that as a patient made me lose confidence in him as my surgeon.

The previous surgery that I had a couple years ago was done by one of the most prominent doctors in California who specialized in desmoid tumors and even then I had "dropfoot" after the surgery, but by the grace of God I was able to walk normally again after 3-4 months. That was an unexpected but pleasing result =). Again, this makes me wonder if my current doctor has enough confidence in himself to perform the surgery. He seems kind of intimidated by who my previous doctor was and I feel like he may not think he can do the surgery successfully if my previous doctor barely did.

Despite all this God again continues to be faithful to me. As I came out of the doctors office and was waiting for the shuttle I was sitting and thinking and then I started to pray a little because the enemy was trying to plague my mind with negative thoughts. I wanted someone to pray with me and I began thinking who I could call to pray with/ for me. I ended up just sitting on the bench for about 15-20 min when a group of people from a local church came up to me and asked if they could pray for me! The prayer was very encouraging and reminded me that God hears me and that he knows what I am going through, so each day I am made more and more faithful to Him and I am positive that His walking with me through every step of this trial =D.


oh yeah and I will be starting radiation on October 12, so we'll see how that goes.